Conscious

People of the world dont look at themselves, and so they blame one another

-Rumi-

Are you sleeping?

Are you sleeping?

Brother John, brother John?

Morning bells are ringing,

Morning bells are ringing,

Ding dong bell, ding dong bell

And who says children rhymes are not spiritual. If you read between the lines, the hidden message is so profound.

Conscious, a simple word which means being awake. If a person is highly consumed with the material world, this word would probably mean that a person is neither asleep or in commatose. In the spiritual context, it can mean 'being dead' while you are still alive. Mind boggling, huh?

Are we conscious of our thoughts, emotions, desires and actions? When we speak, do we fully understand the words being articulated, the message intended to be conveyed? Or simply babbling away? Are we conscious that our emotions affect others around us? Well, we term is as 'moodswings' or rather coded down to the 'weather forecast'. “How's the 'weather' today?” “Cloudy, maybe tomorrow would be brighter”, which can be very, very critical when an employee is seeking approval from a boss.

So, what happens when you are not conscious? Ever wonder what is the root of all evils? The cause of social ills, values erosion? The increasing problems of “Rempit, buang bayi” and others? Isnt it because some of us are not “conscious” when making certain decisions or taking actions. Adrenaline pumping, we are on 'the high”, ecstasy, our minds are numbed. When we are awakened, we start asking questions or seek justification.

Ever familiar with the terms. “I didnt mean what I said” or “Sorry, I didnt realise you were hurt” or “Enjoy! After all you only live once”? The truth of the matter is, you do not live once. You live forever! The repercussions would only be manifested in the life after.

Generally human is driven by comfort or discomfort, pain or pleasure. It's a physical thing. We are usually 'conscious' when we are suffering or facing hardship. We feel the pain is real, as if we can see the knife slicing our hearts deeply and invisibly, blood gushing from the wound. That is when we start questioning the Whys, What Ifs, analysing and reflecting the past that led to a particular outcome and hopefully we learn a lesson or two along the way.

I like to take an example of an abuser. When an abuser abuse, be it physically hitting and kicking a person or verbally exclaiming hurtful words, he or she is not conscious. The emotion such as rage takes over, blocking and blinding intelligence. At this stage, he or she is in all time high. But when the evidence of abuse is visible, such as bruises, injuries, intelligence returns, realisation dawns on the person, until the next trigger. And it is back to square one.

I attended a “Mind & Emotion” talk the other day, by a friend who is a trained Hypnotherapist. She listed down three easy steps to be more aware and conscious or your emotions, especially negative ones as it can have adverse impact to ourselves and others. First, identify what you are feeling, i.e. give the emotion a name, e.g. anger, fear, boredom, inadequacy, guilt, disgust, stress. Next it to analyse why you are feeling the emotion, what causes it. Thirdly, when you have narrowed down what causes it, you can make a 'conscious' decision to address the emotion, e.g. confront and weed out the root cause, find ways to prevent it or simply forgive.

She said to forgive, and NOT forget. If you forget, you unconsciously induce yourself to the same situation repeatedly and are susceptible to the negative emotions again. It's like you never learn. So, forgive but remember, so that you will not end up in that situation once you have overcome it.

I watched the final episode of Khloe & Kourtney in Miami. Yeah, I know reality shows can be cheesy and full of dramas, makes you wonder whether it is really “reality” or staged. But anything about people, I find it interesting. I guess you are aware (if you are one of the viewers) that Kourtney (the eldest sister) is in a relationship with Scott, a flambouyant, simplistic, egocentric guy with an alocohol problem. Before they had their son, Mason (out of wedlock), he has been cheating on her and they have been having an "off and on, hot and cold" relationship.

Typical of abusers, everytime after he hurts Kourtney, be it having an affair or being irresponsible, he would sweet talk and squirms his way through and Kourtney would take him back, much against the family's (especially the Mom) liking. It's another form of addiction. Much like trying to give up smoking or drinking, but the minute you are not conscious, the vicious cycle looms to entrap you back in.

So, in this final episode, she decided to leave him and gave him, space to sort out his problems and gave her and their son's space to be in a healthy, loving environment. And I went, “Way to go Kourt!”. Now she is conscious and thinking straight for once.

There are so many Scotts & Kourneys amongst us, being held hostage in toxic relationships in the name of love. It is because both persons are not conscious of what they are doing to each other. An abused will stay in the relationship out of fear, not so much of the partner, but fear of having to be alone or make it out on his or her own in this world. As such, he or she is enabling and allowing the abuser to remain unconscious.

Wherease the abuser, needs to have control and power, which they such by overpowering the abused. Threats, bribes are lubricant to enable the modus operandi. And if you really analyse, they also have a certain kind of fear, i.e. being abandoned, rejected, but instead of facing the pain points, the abuser would cover it by borrowing or hijacking the strengths from their partners.

My point is, for you to be conscious and more aware of ourselves, one must learn to know more about ourselves, how we are wired and address all the pain points or negative conditionings. Only by being and striving to remain conscious, we could serve our purpose and have a happy and healthy lives.

So, learn to know thyself..

Love,

Yushida Yusuf

Yushida Yusuf conducts a series of program, nurturing self-knowledge and self-awareness through answering the fundamental question of “Who Am I?^TM” She can be contacted thru yushida.yusuf@yahoo.com or connect with her on facebook: Yushida Yusuf.